Okay, the assignment here was to write an essay comparing two versions of a screenplay. The essay was to be written as if I was a producer giving the green light to produce the rewritten draft of the script and to compare changes made to the script for the rewrite and try and examine why the writer may have made these changes.
This essay is a brief analysis of the changes made to the short screenplay “Two Steps Back” By Grace Vaught. As a short film, this would have some promise to it, especially after reviewing the rewritten version which takes the idea proposed for the plot of the first play and improves on it dramatically, as well as changing the story in a way that makes it more interesting and emotional, while still keeping the feel that the screenwriter seemed to be trying to achieve.
The first choice that I noticed was the change in length between the two drafts; the original screenplay has seven pages while the rewrite is nearly doubled in size and content. Part of the reason for this is that the story is a more complex one that needs more elaboration to really have an impact. It becomes clear that Rachel is a victim of a kidnapping at the end of the play and that Jake was her captor but the part of the story that Anne (her mother) is the Mary Kay lady that was responsible for his arrest and Rachel’s “rescue” is very much kept in the dark. Even though the screenplay ended up going in a different direction than its original ending, the added length is more than sufficient to fill in any missing information that the audience should know about the story. It also allows for more detailed imagery that can work well in a film format, for example the scenes in which Anne is walking through her house in a state of indecision works particularly well with heightening tension and gives the crew some very specific scenes to film in creative ways.
Another bonus of the rewrite is that plot inconsistencies are filled in. The biggest problem in the original script was that there is no real clear cut way for Rachel answering the door for the Mary Kay lady being able to reasonably lead to Jake getting arrested. This is resolved by making Anne recognize Rachel as Amy, her daughter, and then being rebuffed when asking Tyler to investigate; the new situation between Anne and her husband is much more believable if placed in a real-life scenario. The credibility of a script is key and the 2nd draft resolves this in many ways.
Another change, which went a long way into raising interest into the story, is seeing events unfold from the point of view of Anne instead of from Jake and Rachel. This is a welcome change as it raises the emotional investment in the character and also gives more of an exposition to the story. For example, Rachel acting as the main character is a passive protagonist in the script; it is clear that something is amiss to the audience, but it’s not readily apparent to her. She makes no attempt to find out why Jake is so anxious for her not to have contact with the outside world and is really waiting until the arrest to move the plot forward. An emotional investment will usually form with a character that has an active interest in the story. Anne has a much more active part in the story; she has reason to believe that Rachel is her missing daughter, Amy, and so asks questions and tries to figure out the truth to who Rachel Murray really is, thus giving the audience a hope for a success.
Also by shifting the view of characters away from Rachel, the character of Jake Murray is much more ambiguous. Jake is obviously guilty of kidnapping Amy in the 1st draft of the script, yet in the second draft, he could very well be innocent. We have only one scene to view him in and must make our opinions based on that one scene. That lack of insight as to who Murray is can lead to some sinister connotations; is he an unwitting businessman or a dangerous and unbalanced criminal? This is the same kind of ambiguity that led to unease at the introductions to characters such as Patrick Bateman or Anton Chigurh; it’s a sense that the character has taken no action and hasn’t done anything wrong, but through previous knowledge the audience is on the lookout for things that could be taken as malevolence. This previous knowledge could be because the audience knows that Rachel is the prime candidate in an unofficial missing person’s mystery and that Jake Murray is the only other person in her life, or that they know that the title of the movie they are watching is called American Psycho and the number one person who could be the titular character is probably Patrick Bateman. The fact that Anne is not sleeping and is in a feverish search for answers also keeps uncertainty in the mix as there really is no solid proof of Jake’s guilt in the second draft until the very end, just Anne’s opinion on the subject.
This leads to the rewritten ending, being the one in which Anne, stricken with grief and hopelessness and upon finding the similar missing person’s photo of Jake in the mail, is left to a possible suicide. This is a more questionable ending than the original but also more interesting. The original ending really only states rather didactically that Rachel suffers from some sort of memory loss and possibly Stockholm syndrome. But in the second draft Anne finds solid evidence of a linking between the two disappearances, which is good as it can mean resolution to Anne’s problem from the beginning, yet the script ends with a focus on the bottle of pills next to the picture. The significance of the pills is left to the audience but its presence could reasonably lead us to believe that Anne decided to take all of the pills out of frustration that no one believed her and thus end her life. This also means that by leaving the pictures taped together that upon her death the connection between Jake and Rachel would be taken much more seriously possibly leading to the kidnapper being brought to justice with Anne’s final act. Posing a final question to the audience and driving into them more uncertainty is something that would want them to come back and view the film again, this time knowing the ending, to try and form a more solid opinion of the ending for themselves.
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